Hope After Losing A Child

Every day we join families in the fight against childhood cancer.  We are all holding out hope that each child who faces the devastating disease reaches a cure and gets to live a long and healthy life- way beyond his or her diagnosis.

The unfortunate reality is that even with so many people working so hard to save the lives of these children, 1 in 5 will lose his/her battle.  Anyone who touches a child or family that faces this tremendous loss is affected.  Questions arise, with no answers.

This past Sunday I happened to attend St. Peter in the Loop Catholic Church, which is next door to the Compass to Care office.  It was by chance that I ended up at this church for the 11am mass, but after hearing the homily by Fr. George, I knew I was meant to be there. I reached out to the Priest after the service and asked him if I could have a copy of the homily.

Though we may have our personal religious affiliations, Compass to Care does not align with any particular religion.  However, the homily was so moving that I decided it was worth sharing.
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The scene of today’s Gospel start out as a very sad one. In human living, we encounter deeply sad and sorrowful moments.  The loss of a child is surely one of the heaviest crosses any parent could be asked to carry.

It is said that when the old die they take a part of our past, of our history, with them. And when the young die, they take a part of our future.

The sense of loss can be so great that it can cause the one who mourns to neglect his or her own life, and perhaps to lose the will to live.

The Bible talks about the agony that King David went through when his young son fell gravely ill.  King David was overcome with anguish and pleaded with God for the child.  He kept a strict fast and spent the night lying on the ground, covered in sackcloth.  The officials of his household stood around him, trying to get him to rise from the ground, but he refused.  They were terrified what would happen if the boy died.

On the seventh day, the boy did die.  The people were now more afraid than ever that the King would do something desperate.  They said, “even when the child was alive, we reasoned with him and he wouldn’t listen to us.”

When King David heard the whispering he guessed that his son had died. He asked, “is the child dead?” And they replied, “yes.”

The people wondered what the King would do now.  But the King surprised them. He got off the ground, bathed, and anointed himself and put on fresh clothes.  Then he went into the sanctuary of the temple and prostrated himself before God. On returning to his house, he asked to be served with food and ate it.

All were greatly puzzled by his actions and asked, “why are you asking like this? When your child was alive you fasted and wept. Now that the child is dead, you get up and take food.”

King David replied, “when my son was alive, I would have done anything to save him. But now he is gone.  He cannot any more come to me.  But I can go toward him.”

Thus King David was able to get on with his life.

He set an example of how to accept the claims of life in the face of unchangeable loss.  We don’t forget the deceased and we have occasion for remembering them.  But because life is precious, we must go on living it.  We grieve because a life is lost.  But to spend our lives mourning would be to lose two lives.

Jesus taught us that the dead are not dead forever.  They have merely changed worlds. Our dead are not far from us.  They still love and can help us. But they cannot come back. We go towards them.  We go toward our loved ones in the sure hope that we will see them again.

Tonight we send the strength to all of the families who must face the sorrowful loss of a child.